Different strokes for Different Folks

Just before they went to bed one night a mother told her daughter barely 6, "When the time comes to leave my body i want to do so in midst of kirtan." The daughter spontaneously hugged the mother and replied, "I will be the first to sing for you Amma." That mother is me and that daughter is my little girl. I do not know if she even understood the import of leaving the body, losing your mother, but the point is she is eager to do kirtan and i am proud of my little spiritual warrior.

The very next day i chanced upon this news clip in an Indian newspaper :
"I don't have any complaint against anyone but my only desire is that I should breathe my last while singing before my admirers who love me," she said before a packed audience. This is from a popular singer, called Asha Bhonsle in India who sings pop styled Hindi songs for the Hindi movie industry. Ironically she sang the song Dum Maro Dum..Hare Krishna Hare Ram, for the movie by the name Hare Krishna Hare Rama. Being a movie about socially misfit hippies of the then India, the song became so very popular and even today us devotees are referred to as the Hare Krishna Hare Rama.Will this ajnata sukriti of knowingly or unknowingly uttering Krishna's names take her towards Krishna?

Looking at the futility of human birth i was reminded of the verse from the Bhagvad Gita, 8.6: yam yam vapi smaran bhavam tyajaty ante kalevaram tam tam evaiti kaunteya sada tad-bhava-bhavitah
Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, that state he will attain without fail.

I have come a long way from my earlier disposition of thinking "You have one life, enjoy it!" I thought once again how wonderful it is to be connected to Krishna. How exciting it is to know you have a wonderful future awaiting you in the spiritual realm should you make it back. In the meantime will i even know when i will leave so that i can prepare myself. Our Acharyas have provided us a safety net, not to fret. King Kulashekhara has sung in his Mukunda Mala Stotra-

kṛṣṇa tvadīya-pada-pańkaja-pañjarāntam
adyaiva me viśatu mānasa-rāja-haḿsaḥ
prāṇa-prayāṇa-samaye kapha-vāta-pittaiḥ
kaṇṭhāvarodhana-vidhau smaraṇaḿ kutas te

O Lord Kṛṣṇa, at this moment let the royal swan of my mind enter the tangled stems of the lotus of Your feet. How will it be possible for me to remember You at the time of death, when my throat will be choked up with mucus, bile, and air?

It is a lifetime of preparation and chanting Krishna's names is the means and the end. I remember one of the Prabhus in Gitanagari and the punchline of his comedy show. "The Holy Name of Sri Hari is Surely All can be!"

Surely, isn't that all we have?

Diadem Divine

I seem to be falling into this pattern of seeing and hearing or seeing and reading about the same topic on the same day, kind of reinstating a point. My daughter picked out something for me to read to her and i found that it was about Jayadev Goswami, author of Gita Govinda. I have these Amar Chitra Katha comics that i used to read as a young girl. I got them bound and carried them from India as one would carry a prized possession. I remember asking my father for three things whenever he would set out on tours: comics, high heeled shoes and dolls. Fotunately for me the dolls have been transformed into deity worship and the comics have given way to Sastras and the high heels ..well i kicked the habit (of wearing them).

English just doesn't do justice to the meaning of these words. In Hindi it is Amar Chitra Katha - meaning eternal picture storybook and in English it is comic book? As i was reading out this katha to her, i saw this particular line in the story where Jayadeva writes. "Oh Radha place your tender feet upon my head as a diadem divine." He however contemplates on the verse, striking out the lines as he feels that it would be improper to describe Krishna as being sub-ordinate to Radhika. But God disposes off his proposal and He Himself comes in the guise of Jayadeva, in his absence and rewrites the very same lines again. Jayadeva realizes the Lord's inner desires and continues with his legendary Gita Govinda.

This pastime immediately reminded me of the pastime from Radha Rasa Sudha Nidhi, (i know i have to know my ABCs, but i 'm always curious to hear about Radharani) where fearful of Lalita, Radharani displays feelings of transcendental anger towards Krishna for having messed up the lac on her feet while He was painting it. In mock anger she is said to have kicked Krishna on His forehead and Krishna walks around happy that He has achieved the dust of Srimati Radharani's lotus feet, not even wanting to have a dip in the Yamuna for the fear that He would lose it. The dust for which Brahma, Shiva and even Lakshmi devi vie for is rarely obtained. HH Mahanidhi swami describes this instance of Radha's 'maan' by saying that while Radharani who is the most devoted servant of Krishna feels that Krishna belongs to Her, the Vipaksha sakhis feel that they belong to Krishna. Radharani thereby displays her love for Krishna in yet another rasa, that of transcendental anger. On the very same day i saw this beautiful picture of Srimati Radharani's lotus feet with Shyam written on it and a small pendant of Krishna placed on each foot. This reinstated for me the fact that we have to develop a sense of Sambandha, a belonging with Krishna and highlighted how Krishna considers Himself sub-ordinate to his pure devotee.

Three cakes and The Divine Madman.

We have a deity welcoming program at a devotee's home this Saturday, the day of Lord Nityananda's appearance. The Mataji asked me if i could bring a cake and also asked another devotee for 2 large cakes. Since our congregation is small we thought there must be a mistake. We assumed that it must be Avadhuta Nityananda Prabhu's desire and went about collecting the ingredients.

Since i have a penchant for the music, language and vegetarian cuisine of Bengal even before my coming to Krishna Consciousness, i was trying to find traditional dishes that two Lords would relish on this auspicious day and that is when i came across this episode from Caitanya Caritamrita where the Gauna Rasa of Hasya is portrayed between Sri Advaita Acharya and Sri Nityananda. One has to hear it to understand this unique mellow. Here is the link:http://mayapur.com/sites/default/files/media/english/2009-02-02_sri.advaita.acarya_swp.mp3.

Listening to HG Suresvara Prabhu's class i felt Nitai was ridiculing my even momentarily questioning His eating pattern. He is mocking Sri Advaita Acharya by saying that while He has not had prasadam for 3 days at a stretch, Advaita Acarya Prabhu was serving Them so scanty a meal that it did not do justice to His appetite.

I'm pasting here the excerpt from Caitanya Caritamrita(CC Madhya 3.80-3.87)

Although Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was thinking that the quantity of food was enormous, Nityānanda Prabhu, on the contrary, thought it not even a morsel. He had been fasting for three days and had greatly hoped to break fast on that day. Indeed, He said, "Although I am invited to eat by Advaita Ācārya, today also is a fast. So small a quantity of food will not fill even half My belly."
Advaita Ācārya replied, "Sir, You are a mendicant traveling on pilgrimage. Sometimes You eat fruits and roots, and sometimes You simply go on fasting.
"I am a poor brāhmaṇa, and You have come to My home. Please be satisfied with whatever little food You have received and give up Your greedy mentality."

Lord Nityānanda Prabhu replied, "Whatever I may be, You have invited Me. Therefore You must supply as much as I want to eat."
His Divine Grace Advaita Ācārya, after hearing the statement of Nityānanda Prabhu, took the opportunity presented by the joking words and spoke to Him as follows.: Advaita Ācārya said, "You are a reject paramahamsa, and You have accepted the renounced order of life just to fill up Your belly. I can understand that Your business is to give trouble to brāhmaṇas."
Advaita Ācārya accused Nityānanda Prabhu, saying, "You can eat ten to twenty mānas of rice. I am a poor brāhmaṇa. How shall I get so much rice?
"Whatever You have, though it be a palmful of rice, please eat it and get up. Don't show Your madness and strew the remnants of food here and there."

He is an Avadhuta and is addressed as a Brashtha Avadhuta or a reject mendicant by Sri Advaita Acharya. He CAN have 3 cakes or 10 and i consider myself most fortunate to be able to serve Him in any small way. So, i have a big cake all ready for Nitai and another smaller one for our very own deities of Nimai and Nitai. Since Krsna is the reservoir of all Rasas and the mango fruit is considered the king of fruits, also endowed with all the rasas, this offering of a mango cake is in the meditation of this pastime of the Lords. Moral of the story: If you do invite Nitai to your homes, please do feed Him well, otherwise be prepared to feed a 100 sannyasis. I pray to Lord Nityananda that one day i too can dance blissfully, maddened merely by the touch of mahaprasadam.

Nitai Bine Bhai Radha Krishna Paite Nai!

She bought half a cow!

"When God Shuts one door He opens another."

" I have a pacemaker and cannot run."

"She bought half a cow."

"Do you want the liver?"

Two days ago when i woke up, these words were going around in my mind. These are fragments of conversations that i have had with a lady i meet at my daughter's bus stop. Instantly my mind screamed back at the thoughts;"That, is your karma." But my conscience was feeling sad for this 70 year old woman that she has no clue where she would end up in her next birth. The first time i heard the words "She bought half a cow," i could not comprehend the meaning and asked with a puzzled look, "How does one do that?" Coming from such a background where cows are revered and being in ISKCON, i could only think of buying cows for domestic use, rearing them milking them etc., that i did not realize that they had bought half a slaughtered cow aka Beef! When she asked me if i wanted the liver, i thought i would throw up all over the side walk. They say that in Kaliyuga the reactions to impious deeds are felt instantaneously. A few weeks later the very same woman was saying that her son is moving away and she might end up being sent to a senior citizen's housing. As a human being i did feel sorry for her plight, and out of respect for the age tried and offered some words of sympathy.

Though she consoled herself saying "When God Shuts one door He opens another," At the back of mind i thought that was our mother, someone else's mother that you enjoyed eating for Christmas dinner when the Lord states in the old testament: He that killeth an ox is as if he slew a man; he that sacrificeth a lamb, as if he cut off a dog's neck; he that offereth an oblation, as if he offered swine's blood; he that burneth incense, as if he blessed an idol. Yea, they have chosen their own ways, and their soul delighteth in their abominations.

I was just reading that America and Canada top the list of countries in terms of beef eating.So how can one complain. The just Lord is doling out our dues and some face it sooner than later.

Now, i am not back biting this woman while being nice to her but in fact am thankful to her for making me reflect on her situation, filling me with gratitude for the wonderful biological family that i have. I was even more thankful of the fact that somehow through our Guru Maharaja we are connected to Srila Prabhupada and eventually to Krishna. Maybe, lifetimes ago i was in the position that she is in. Coming in contact with Krishna wipes millions of life times of Karma away! My prayer is that i be able to recognize this treasure and special privilege given to us eternally, so that i do not fall down again into this ocean of misery.

The tongue is a stage.

vāco vegaḿ manasaḥ krodha-vegaḿ
jihvā-vegam udaropastha-vegam
etān vegān yo viṣaheta dhīraḥ
sarvām apīmāḿ pṛthivīḿ sa śiṣyāt

A sober person who can tolerate the urge to speak, the mind's demands, the actions of anger and the urges of the tongue, belly and genitals is qualified to make disciples all over the world. (Nectar Of Instruction Verse-1)

Yesterday, when i working on a write-up for our local newsletter, i was contemplating on how the holy names should eventually dance on our tongue. I was reminded of that divine Radha Natabhara who enjoys dancing with the gopis the most but out of compassion also danced on the hoods of the evil Kaliya. Kaliya is said to represent brutality and treachery. I was comparing our tongues to the hoods of Kaliya who want to speak ill of others,lie, cheat,want to eat unoffered and sometimes abominable foodstuffs. It took a long time for Krishna to subdue Kaliya. In the fight that ensued it appeared that Krishna was dancing on the hoods of Kaliya. Similarly our senses put up a fight against Krishna and our tongues raise their vile hoods time and again. However, Krishna is so merciful, that He has manifested as His holy names and is willing to dance on our tongues if only we set the stage, by nourishing our tongue and give up being the masters, wanting to enjoy everything for ourselves. Will Krishna then not dance on our tongues?

When the Lord of the Universe came home.

Nilacala Nivasaya, nityaya paramatmane

Balabhadra Subhadrabhyam, Jagannathayathe Namah.

Deity worship is like an arranged marriage where once you start serving the person, you eventually fall in love with them. Though we worship Jagannatha at home when these deities who are at our temple every weekend decided to come home for a 3 week stay, there was great joy at home. The devotees who were caring for Them went on a holiday to India and wanted Them to be cared and pampered for in the interim. So, They decided to come home and I considered it our great fortune. I was hearing in a class by HH Mahanidhi Swami that attaining Sri Kshetra or Purushottam Kshetra is so rare that it is also called as Durlabh Kshetra or Krandhan Kshetra. Durlabh Kshetra because the mood of separation from the Lord/beloved is the highest emotion that one can experience and it is more profound than actually meeting the Lord. Krandhan Kshetra because its a Land of tears where the Lord as Jagannath, Vrajendranandan Krishna, cries for His devotees, the Gopis in Vrindavan longing to reunite with them on the banks of the Yamuna river. Similarly the devotees who are in separation from the Lord signified by Caitanya Mahaprabhu are also crying, longing to meet with the cowherd boy of Vrindavan who has stolen Their hearts making them distraught and sleepless.

I also realized while serving them, what it is like to be a personal servant of the Lord or the spiritual master.As they say pujari seva is like a double edged sword where while it requires utmost attention, one must not assume that the Lord or spiritual master is dependent on us. It requires sacrifice and complete submission and working in a schedule that is suitable to Them. Your time is Theirs. They invade your life sweetly and slowly that They become the center of activities and only a fool will not be willing to let Them take over.

Where is Krishna?

I see Krishna is the rising waves of the sea, in the buzzing bee, in the monsoon sky, in the grass so green. i can see Him in the name of the driving instructor, Gauranga! In the pink toes of the sleeping baby, in the wholesome glass of milk, in the bright yellow saree of the garland vendor. Krishna is in the cherries so ripe and juicy, in the golden butter that sizzles on the skillet and in the sweet smelling roses that abound in summer.

But;

Why don't i see Him in my 6 year old's tantrums, in the pile of snow that i curse and clear, in the hurt and anxiety caused by rude remarks. I can't see Him in the soiled diapers and the sharp shooting foot pain that i wake up to. Can't see Him in the muddy floors and the childish pranks of my little monster, or in a day gone all awry. Can't see him in the slithering snake or the stinky skunk either. Can't see Him in the sting of the disturbed wasp or even in the leaky faucet and the soggy rags.


Where is Krishna?

Krishna is in our hearts and just as the blind hone their other senses near to perfection, i have to work on the sense of hearing, the sense of smell and the sense of touch. Hearing the message of Krishna, the most important of all devotional services, requires practice and investment of a lifetime, but as so many of our acharyas and preceptors have proved, it can be perfected. There is hope!