Desire Tree.

Have you ever felt that you were around a Kalpavriksha tree. In my few years as a devotee, many a time I have had this feeling that I am sitting beneath a Kalpavriksha tree because my desires get fulfilled so easily when I am around devotees. Just the other day, on Ekadasi at prasadam time, someone at the temple commented about us devotees who were on complete fast, even from water, saying "You are all Mahatmas!" Feeling a tad uneasy that I was forcing someone to focus their attention on me and my actions, I was wondering why do I fast on Ekadasi? The very next day I found my answer in the newly updated audio section of iskcondesiretree. This place is my one stop shop for all nectar.
Eagerly I scanned the tattva Darshan series of HH Mahanidhi Swami and there I found an entire class on Ekadasi- Why fast on Ekadasi? I am attempting to share here a few points that I heard.
Fasting on ekadasis is prescribed in the Sastras. But as Vaisnavas we are interested in Devotion to Krishna. Fasting on Ekadasi is favorable to Saranagati or surrender to Krishna. Since it pleases Krishna and since He resides in this day-Harivasra, we get a chance to reside with Krishna. When the Lord is pleased He gives us His mercy.

Speaking on points from Surya Siddhanta, a book on astrology, by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sraswati Thakura, Maharaj was mentioning how 11 days after Amavasya and 11 days after Purnima, the position of the moon and sun affect the tide in the oceans and creates some disturbance in the atmosphere. Likewise they affect the human body too, because 75 per cent of the human body is made of water. The fluids become agitated and the digestion is weak and the person is also disturbed in mind especially on the ekadasi before the full moon-Shukla Paksha. So fasting on ekadasi increases the fire or heat in the body due to the performance of this tapasya. This heat of tapasya evaporates the water of lust in the body, and burns up the sins. The kama Bhija, Krodha, lobha bija are fried in the heat of tapasya and cannot fructify when sown in the soil. Fasting and following the 9 fold processes of devotional service is not only beneficial for the body but pleases Lord Hari and that is our only aim.
Ekadasi is said to represent the 11 senses (working + knowledge acquiring senses) and on the day of Ekadasi Krishna's senses get agitated. He demands more attention. Wants more seva, more bhoga and more puja.

We had the birthday of a 1 year old devotee that day at the temple. I had not heard this class then but looks like our Silas wanted something special that day and wanted to have an Ekadasi cake. Being in charge of co-ordinating birthday cakes for the temple, out came my copy of the Book of Eggfree cakes, and out of the oven came this cake. Anyone who has tasted this cake knows that it is really delicious, much more than the regular cakes. Haripriya requested for this recipe and here it is. I want to continue the tradition of wishing under the desiretree by passing on this recipe and fulfilling her desire. After all our only aim is to please Lord Hari and serve Him together.

Ekadasi Coconut Cake.

1 1/4 cups milk powder 1 1/4 cups potato flour 1 cup caster sugar 1 teaspoon bicarb 1/4 cup butter 1/2 cup grated coconut 2 mashed bananas 1/2 cup yogurt Finely grated rind of one lemon and one orange 1/2 cup chopped roasted hazelnuts Butter and flour 10-inch cake tin, or for a deeper cake, an 8-inch tin. Set oven to 330 F. Sift together the milk powder, potato flour, sugar and bicarb.Melt the butter and toast the coconut in it. Mash the bananas and mix in the yogurt, rind and butter-toasted coconut. Add the dry ingredients and nuts and beat with a spoon.Pour into tin and bake 20 to 30 mins. Test with toothpick, rest ten minutes and turn out onto rack. When cool, split and fill with whipped cream and fresh fruit, and/or jam. You can also ice it and cover with fresh soft grated coconut for dramatic effect

A small note: If potato flour is hard to come by one can replace it with Rajgira flour/Amaranth flour.

Then and Now.

Bhaja-Just this one word sums up everything. The starting word of my favorite song, 'Bhaja Hu Re Mana." Bhaja means “Be engaged in devotional service’’ says Srila Prabhupada. Why then is it so difficult for me to take up this process sincerely. Why do I seek adoration and appreciation when I should just be concerned about performing my service. The past few weeks have been weeks of intense soul searching for me. With so many birthdays this month, studying for Bhakti Shastri assessments on Chapter 5 of the Bhagavad Gita, I have been forced to meditate on the most prominent event at the other extreme of the spectrum of life viz. death. A month ago, a close friend of mine was diagnosed with a malignant tumor. Alarmed at the news I looked for solace in the prayers and meditations of my Guru Maharaj. Musing about a poem I had written almost 8 years ago praising death, I was viewing my mind as a separate entity and seeing how it has transformed in these 8 years.

The Long Awaited Tryst

Opening the doors to my house,

I wait for you in quiet repose

Tracing my dreams of yester years

Not for long though,

only till to claim me you come

Give me the strength to rise in your welcome

Cause I have been waiting for you

They say you are cruel

With fingers icy and cold

They know not you are my angel

Whom I long to behold

For, in your arms I can sleep

The tranquil sleep that's everlasting,

Filled with dreams a plenty

With no morning bells ringing

With no chores to complete, no promises to keep.

I wait for you with bated breath,

I wait for you in stealth

Come, to embrace me in your snow white shroud,

Against your chest I will ever be proud

Pray! Come, to complete the long awaited Tryst!

This was written by me when I was known as Nandini. But then, I was born again, almost 5 years ago, with my initiation and connection to Srila Prabhupada.Now that I am learning to take my first steps, I know I will erase the lines and rewrite this poem again. This was written with a very immature understanding of life an escapists view. Now, I am able to understand that my life belongs to Krishna, it is His property. Death doesn't liberate one, devotional service does. Unless one is engaged in the loving devotional service of Krishna one has to come back to this material world again and again. Will I welcome death the same way? Probably not.

Bhagavad Gita 5.3: Knowledge that one is one in quality yet different in quantity is correct transcendental knowledge leading one to become full in himself, having nothing to aspire to or lament over. There is no duality in his mind because whatever he does, he does for Krsna. Being thus freed from the platform of dualities, he is liberated--even in this material world.

But mere knowledge is not enough. The bad news is that we have to live with our senses as long as there is life in this body and the good news is that we can train ourselves to tolerate their urges. Even after knowing this why do I participate in the sources of misery? I wish developing seriousness was as easy as wearing a pair of gold rimmed scholarly looking glasses.

Kamala dala jala jivana talamala

Bhaja Hu hari pada niti re.

This life is tottering like a drop of water on a lotus petal; therefore you should always serve and worship the divine feet of Lord Hari.

While a lot has changed a lot still needs to be changed, hope is what keeps me going.

Something's Lost and has to be found.

It is said that the reward for service is more service and there can be no better way to spend the day, especially your birthday, raking up the yard in the pleasant pre-spring sun. So there I was trying to clean and did not realize that one earring of mine had fallen off, until my friend spotted it. I really liked that one so I searched around for a while and then decided to take a break and search after sometime. In the meantime my friend said she would pray to St. Anthony and light a candle so that I might find it. Not sure if I must put so much effort into something so inconsequential and being skeptical, I thanked her and took a break. Later I went to the garage to store my bag of leaves and sure enough, lying there was the upturned earring, the exact same spot where my daughter and her friend were searching for it a little while ago. Curious, I read about St. Anthony and found that he is said to intercede with the Lord for return of things lost or stolen.

This afternoon I told my friend about the found earring and said to her to light the candle again and pray to St. Anthony saying "St. Anthony, St. Anthony please turn around, something is lost and has to be found,"so that I might find something which I have lost. I have lost my way back home to Krishna and I am not desperate to find it. Comfortable in this prison suit I wander around aimlessly gratifying my senses. I cannot find the way back on my own, because I lack the willingness and determination. I need someone to intercede on my behalf. I believe in the power of sincere prayers and learnt a wonderful lesson through this little incident yesterday.

St. Anthony of Padua with infant Jesus.

The lessons that I learnt are:

• We must make an effort to find our way back
• Look for lost things in the right place
• Pray for help because you cannot accomplish things on your own and
• Ultimately only divine interception and mercy can help us find our way

Trying to view my day in perspective, in the night, the words of Guru Maharaja's class titled Attitude of Gratitude came into my mind. He was saying how the characteristic feature of Kala or time is that it takes away everything, deteriorates everything. How human life is the perfection for ending this kala. How we we are extremely old and have been going through this samsara for many many lifetimes trying to engage in the perfect escape in the most ridiculous way! Time belongs to Krishna and the best way offering it back to Him is using it diligently in the pursuit of self realization. We can enter the spiritual world only when we are invited back and choose to accept the invitation. Which means;not getting too comfortable in our prison outfit. Having gratitude for the present while having healthy appreciation of the past is the key to remaining undisturbed when the future or present doesn't seem so good.

Thank you Guru Maharaj, for all the wonderful devotees, for being the wonderful link to Srila Prabhupada and the Parampara and for helping me find my way back home.

Au Naturel!

Ever since I saw the Abhay Charan series and how the devotees in the early days took Jagannath out for a day at the park, I have been envisioning taking my Jagannath, Baladev and Subhadra out in our garden during summer. Have Them rest on a charpai, while we fan them gently with chamaras and peacock feather fans, feed Them natural, homemade mango ice cream, topped with golden yellow slices of mango. The surprising thing (well actually not so surprising, I guess my desire was strong) is that one of our local grcocery stores has in stock this very cute looking miniature charpai, just the right size for our deities. Will get it this summer...

Charpai- its a bed woven with jute ropes, found in the Indian villages, where they rest mid-day after a hard morning's labor.

Anyway, much before the arrival of summer, to honor Guru maharaj, on his Vyasapuja I decided to make some ice cream. Anyone who has served him knows how child like his tastes are. I still remember his words when he visited our home. The two of us, not even inititated then, were so excited that we did not even know how to serve him properly. We served him the focaccia and forgot the fork and the knife. While speaking to him about our then 18 month old daughter who liked to have a cup of ice cream every single day my husband was mentioning how she would gravitate towards the kitchen with bowl in hand, exactly at 3 PM asking for 'aakeesh.' Guru Maharaj heard us out patiently and after he was done with his dessert of lemon cake and apple pie, he turned around and said " If someone asks for ice cream at 10:30 in the night, will it be available ?" I felt as if I were Cassie of Dragon tales, slowly shrinking in size and as if I had turned into some microscopic entity, because on that day I had NO ice cream. Apologizing for the bad planning we bid him farewell with a heavy heart that summer night in 2004.

I like to meditate on the pastimes of the Lord in relation to the preparation, just my own small endeavor to replace my own lusty desire and bring Krishna into the picture. Jagannath loves jackfruit, so meditating on a pastime of His that I had heard, I decided to try out a tropical flavor of mango and jackfruit. Slicing some jackfruit, pureeing some I mixed up the mango pulp and added the cream, milk and sugar and fed it it all in my ice cream maker. Not so much a fan of ice cream myself I was happy with the resulting creamy rich and exotic flavor.

Anyone who has lived in Bombay or Bangalore knows that the best tasting ice cream in not Baskin robins but Natural. They have amazingly unique flavors including tender coconut- the best, watermelon, custard apple or sitaphal, sapodilla etc...Its eggless and Au Naturel! and what we made at home was one scoop better being prasadam.

Raghu Dasa:There was once a great devotee of Lord Ramachandra named Raghu Dasa. He lived in Puri under a big umbrella near the Lion Gate of the Jagannath temple. He was very famous and known among the people as the friend of Lord Jagannath. Once Jagannath came to Raghu and told him to go with Him to steal jackfruit from the Kings garden. Raghu said, "Why do You want to steal jackfruit? If You have a desire to eat jackfruit, then let me know and I will get a nice jackfruit for You." Lord Jagannath replied, "In this way I am getting everything from My devotee. In fact, I have everything. Mother Yasoda would feed Me so much butter and give Me pleasure. But still I go to the homes of others for the purpose of stealing butter. There is a special pleasure in eating stolen things. Today I want you to experience that pleasure of stealing. Please come with Me!" Helpless, Raghu agreed to the Lord's proposal and accompanied Him. Both of them entered the King's garden. Jagannath told Raghu, "You should climb the tree. I will stand on the ground. You will pluck the best and biggest jackfruit and throw it down. I will stand here and catch it. Then both of us will run away." Raghu followed the order of the Lord exactly as He had in¬structed. He climbed the jackfruit tree and located the best and biggest jackfruit and plucked it. "Jagannath!" he called out. "Are You ready?" Jagannath replied, "Yes! I am ready, throw it!" Raghu threw the jackfruit down, expecting Jagannath to catch it. But where was Jagannath? He had run away. No one was there to catch the jackfruit. It crashed to the ground, making a big sound and split open. When the King's gardener heard the sound, he understood that someone had entered the garden to steal jackfruit. He immediately ran to the spot and found the big jackfruit lying split open on the ground, yet he didn't see anyone around. When he looked up he saw Raghu Dasa sitting in the tree. The gardener immediately ran to the King and told him that Raghu Dasa was stealing jackfruit from his garden. "He is still there sitting on the top of the tree!" he told the King excitedly. The King could not believe that Raghu had entered his garden to steal jackfruit. So the King gathered his ministers and went to the spot where the gardener in¬dicated. He was surprised to see Raghu Dasa sitting in the tree and the jackfruit lying on the ground. On the request of the King, Raghu came down from the tree. The King asked Raghu, "My dear . Prabhu, if you desired to eat jackfruit, why have you gone to the trouble of coming to my garden in the middle of the night and climbing a tree? You could have told me. I would have picked the jackfruit and sent it to your house." Raghu told the King the whole story about how he was cheated by Lord Jagannath. Everyone enjoyed hearing the pastime of the Lord, and they all laughed. They glorified Raghu for his greatness. In this way, Raghu would have pastimes with Lord Jagannath in the mood of friendship. A devotee gave an eye witness account of one lila of Raghu Dasa with Lord Jagannath. Once during the Ratha-yatra, the Lords had taken Their seats on the chariot. After the King swept the road, everything was ready for the chariot to move. Thousands of people pulled the rope, but the chariot would not move. Seeing the situation, the British Saheva arranged for a powerful elephant to pull the chariot. Still the chariot would not move. The Saheva told Raghu Dasa, "Raghu Dasji, what kind of Lord is this? I have engaged elephants, yet this chariot will not move." Hearing this, Raghu climbed the chariot and went close to Lord Jagannath. He spoke into the Lord's ear. Immediately the chariot started to move. Saheva was surprised to see this. He told Raghu Dasa, "You are perfect and your Lord is also perfect." Wherever Raghu Dasa lived he would leave a pot full of prasada outside for anyone to take. He would take prasada from the same pot the animals and birds took from. This was his wonderful nature. He was very dear to Lord Jagannath.

For those who want to try this tropical flavor you need:

3/4 cup of whole milk

3/4 cup of sugar

1 can of jackfruit-

slice half the contents and puree half with some milk

1/4 cup of mango puree

2 cups of heavy cream.

whisk them all to together and feed it into your cuisinart ice-cream maker.
Highly fattening, try it- Remember we are not this body ;-)

The proof of the pudding is in the eating!

Gaura Purnima in pictures

I love festivals!

Festivals are such times of inspiration where all devotees work together for the pleasure of the Lord. We get a lot more association with devotees, during festivals and this acts as a gauge on how far we have progressed in our own spiritual life. Association with devotees who are pure at heart, coupled with service and chanting gradually cleanses the mirror of our heart 'Ceto darpana Marjanam.' Festival times call for team work, clashing egos, sacrifice, selflessness and passing the test of endurance and tolerance. The ultimate result is sweet like rock candy, but only when the focal point of this circle is occupied by Krishna.

Srila Prabhupada:

SB 4.24.59 : Chanting the Song Sung by Lord Siva Simply by associating with a pure devotee, one becomes wonderfully advanced in Krsna consciousness. Sadhu-sanga, or association with a devotee, means always engaging in Krsna consciousness by chanting the Hare Krsna mantra... but he whose heart is contaminated sees things differently. Therefore by sat-sanga, or association with devotees, one becomes perfectly pure in heart. Here are some pictures on slide.com

Our congregation Deities

Thats my False Ego deflater- my daughter,who kept reminding me not to feel proud on my first effort at home made fondant frosting and decoration. The cake theme is based on Sadhbhuja form of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. You can see the danda, kamandalu, flute, buffalo horn, bow and arrow. The opened lotus flower represents the birth of Lord Caitanya and since we cannot physically cut the cake with nimai there, the holy names in the lotus are a representation of Nimai. 'Abhinnatvan nama naminoh.'

Bitter melon badi Shukta / Shukto-"He savoured the bitter taste of shukta even over the aromatic nectar drink panchamrita." It is kind of addictive once you aquire a taste for it.I am hooked to this, had only this for lunch today.Vrinda played the role of Nimai, actually ate the brahmin's offering, had her mouth stuffed and could not say her lines..She was good though.

I am sad that I could not get pictures of the shiksha program and much of the drama, but captured it in my mind. "CLICK."

Holi Celebrations.

Moonstruck?

Seeing the rose bushes in the morning, with green leafy buds ready to spring open with the touch of the sun's rays filled my heart with an assurance that spring is not far away. Seeing the full moon in the night sky also filled me with an assurance, that Nimai has appeared. The full moon in the sky is visible to all, but few are affected by it to the point of lunacy. Likewise Nimai has risen in the sky of Nawadvip and is visible to all in the form of His mercy of the holy names. Lucky are those who are struck by this moon and become lunatics in the ocean of love of Krishna.

Though it was Gaura Purnima I did not feel impelled to visit a temple, partly because, it would mean a late night and upsetting the schedule for the next day. I was just happy to serve our own Nimai-Nitai, by cooking for Them, bathing Them with pancamrta and reading about Their childhood pastimes. Since I was a child I have heard the pastimes of Krishna and so the childhood pastimes of Nimai were something new for me. I always like reading about Nimai and this is one of my favorites:

Nimai wants the moon.
In this way a blissful day turned into a full moon night. After engaging the servants in their evening duties, Sacidevi took Nimai into the courtyard for some fresh air. The full moon was climbing the sky. Acting like an innocent boy, the clever Nimai cried, "Mother! Mother!"
Sacidevi said, "Don’t cry. I will give You whatever You want." The Lord replied, "Mother, please give Me the moon." Saci said, "Can anyone catch the moon in the sky?"

Nimai said, "Then why did you say that you would give Me whatever I wanted? For this reason, I asked for the moon." Then Nimai began wailing. Holding the comer of Sacidevi's sari, He kept crying while rubbing His eyes with His free hand and kicking the dirt with His feet. Nimai was insistent; He wanted the moon. Gaura Raya clutched His mother's sari and yanked her hair. The next moment He hit her in the head with His hand. Still unsuccessful, He rolled on the ground and cried.
Sacimata said, "O Nimai, You are incorrigible and Your behavior is most unusual. How can I possibly catch the moon in the sky? There are already so many moons on Your body. Look how the moon has become ashamed before You. Out of shyness, he is now hiding himself behind the clouds. O my son, please listen."
Then Sacimata placed Nimai on her lap and showered Him with kisses. Obsessed with parental love, Sacidevi forgot herself in transcendental bliss. Her voice became choked up in ecstasy. Locana Dasa joyfully sings the glories of Lord Gauranga. Moonstruck yet?

Not yet, then this should do the trick!

Vraja Vocabulary

Compromise is not a bad word when spelt as Balance. This was the key line in an advertisement, can't remember which one...Apparently the Vrajavasis are expert in wording things. While looking for something else, I found these beautiful verses from Vraja Riti Cintamani-by Viswanath Chakravarti Thakura, translated by HG Kushakratha Prabhu and was just trying to absorb the sweet simplicity of these lines. Step back webster's, dictionary.com, Random house etc., make way for the Vraja dictionary. I surely would like to replace my dictionary with this one.

Here are the translations for the verses 33-39

When the vrajavasis say the word ‘matsara: they do not mean ‘envy’, but ‘my lake’. When they say ‘khala’, they do not mean ‘demon’, but ‘a woman’s sash’. When they say ‘mala’, they do not mean ‘defect’, but ‘gentle and delicate’. In this way they never speak anything unpleasant, but everything they say is pleasing and auspicious.

When the vrajavasis say the word ‘pradosa’ they do not mean ‘fault’, they do not mean ‘rascal’, but ‘moon’. When they say ‘rosa’, they do not mean anger, but ‘love’. When they say ‘mosa’ they do not mean a cruel thief, but Krishna’s playfully stealing the gopis’ yoghurt. In this way they never speak anything unpleasant, but everything they say is pleasing and auspicious.

When the vrajavasis say the word ‘danda’, they do not mean ‘the king’s rod of chastisement’, but rather, ‘the handle of a parasol, camara fan, or other similar article’. When they say ‘nivi’, they do not mean ‘handcuffs’, but ‘a ribbon for tying the hair’. When they say ‘adhi’ they do not mean ‘headache’, but ‘ecstatic meditation on the Personality of Godhead’. In this way they never speak anything unpleasant, but everything they say is pleasing and auspicious.

When the vrajavasis say the word ‘panka’ they do not mean ‘mud’, but aromatic ointments such as musk, kunkuma, and sandalwood paste. When they say ‘crookedness’ they do not mean the crookedness of a thief, but the beautiful shape of spiral earrings or some other ornament. When they say ‘hardness’ they do not mean the hard-heartedness of a cruel person, but the hardness of a gem or stone. In this way they never speak anything unpleasant, but everything they say is pleasing and auspicious.

When the vrajavasis say the word ‘rajah’ they do not mean ‘material passion’, but ‘the pollen of flowers’. When they say ‘tamah’ they do not mean ‘ignorance’, but ‘the pleasant darkness of night’. When they say ‘dvandvam’ they do not mean ‘the material dualities of happiness and distress’, but ‘a happy couple’. When they say ‘slowness’ they do not refer to the intellect, but the wind. When they say ‘restlessness’ they do not mean anything inauspicious, but rather ‘great eagerness to see Lord Hari’, or else ‘the charming restless glances of the Lord’. In this way they never speak anything unpleasant, but everything they say is pleasing and auspicious.

When the vrajavasis say the word ‘smallness’ they do not refer to the lack of anything good, but rather to a slender waist. When they say ‘nicagatvam’ they do not mean ‘faith in rascals’ but ‘a stream that can be easily crossed’. When they say the words ‘lamentation, humility, fatigue, bewilderment, sleep and laziness’ they do not mean any inauspicious material traits, but rather the various symptoms of ecstatic love of God.
In this way they never speak anything unpleasant, but everything they say is pleasing and auspicious.

When the vrajavasis say the word ‘cows’ they refer to the celestial kamadhenu cows. When they say ‘trees’ they mean kalpa-vrksa trees that fulfil all desires. When they say ‘rocks’ they mean cintamani gems. How is it possible to describe the limitless opulences of Vraja?