Krishna Balaram-Some Pictures.

Wonderful dancing of Krishna and Balaram

Excerpt from a lecture by HH Varsana Swami, Submitted by Manoj

The holy dham is to be respected as the expansion of the Lord Balaram, Who sets the scene for the pastimes. And what are the Lord's embellishments, decorations?Mother Yasoda comes into Krishna's bedroom, singing sweet songs about the loving pastimes that took place before and she wakes up Krishna. And then all the cowherd boys come and they assist in dressing Krishna. And to please Mother Yasoda, He puts on jewelery and fancy clothes, and the cows… they won't even give milk until they have darshan of Lord Krishna.And then what happens! Krishna goes to the forest. He takes off the fancy jewelery that Mother Yasodha put and that gets covered with the forest gifts. The flowers and the peacock feathers, the mango twigs, and Krishna decorates Himself … the Gopis see this about 20 miles away, premanjana churita bhakti vilocenena, with eyes anointed with the salve of love, they can clearly see what is going on 20 miles away. They say, why is He dressing so nice? How's He dressing … Like a dramatic actor. Somebody who is about to do a stage performance, a dramatic act, and they are suspended in rapt attention, from inside their houses 20 miles away or so. Why is He dressing so nicely ? Is He dressing to please the cowherd boys? Well, they are dressing Him, so that's not it. Is He dressing to please Mother Yasoda? Well, she already dressed Him. So who is He dressing to please?Who do young boys dress to please? Young girls … So the Gopis feel very happy.Nanda Maharaj, Mother Yasodha and the elders all follow Krishna upto the point where Krishna assures them with a look, we'll be alright … you can go back … we'll be well behaved … And then painfully they go back …And then as the acharyas explain, as soon as Nanda and Yasodha turn to go back, Krishna and the cowherd boys turn like baby elephants who just got released. So the cowherd boys are joking and talking. So when the devotees asked Prabhupada, what do the cowherd boys talk about … Prabhupada said, Non-sense, ofcourse. But it has all got one purpose and one center, and that is Krishna. Which creates harmony, and peace, and sweetness, through out all of creation. And carrying that message of peace through the process of sankirtan is the most benevolent activity and the only antidote to the hideous influence of cruelty. So when Krishna and the cowherd boys begin to play, naturally all the cows, the birds, the peacocks get into a very playful mood and the cowherd boys … they also like to fight. How do they fight? with nuclear missilens … No … with flowers. They launch flowers. Sometimes they play ball …And then Vrndavan forest is not a dull inert, inanimate forest, full of darkness. Everything is enlightened. So understanding Krishna's mood, it creates a stage. And one of the cowherd boys starts drawing out his design, how the stage should be, with a stick. Ok, this is the center stage for Krishna and Balaram, Who come on. Krishna like a sapphire, and Balaram like an emerald. And Krishna's bluish effulgence, cast a nice bluish hue all over the forest and Balaram, when He gets enlivened, He starts sparkling like lightning. And the cowherd boys decide, ok, the musicians can go on this side and the deer and the rabbits sit in front, creating an audience. And then Krishna and Balaram come on to the stage, bow down to the audience, to bhumi, to Goddess Saraswati, Goddess of music and dance, and then they begin to Dance. Krishna begins dancing like a peacock. And the earth planet is so blessed, that no where else in the universe does Krishna dance. No where else does He even appear and bless the planet with the emblems of His bear lotus feet. So Krishna begins to dance. And everyone begins to sing. Krishna then begins to adjust His clothing, in a very accentuated manner. And then Krishna begins tap dancing. Creating a musical rhythm. When Krishna and Balaram begin to dance, They become to attracted in mutual love for each other and everyone witnessing this lila become so filled with love for Krishna and Balaram that their natural response is to embrace and love one another. If we have love for Krishna, you cannot have enimity for anyone or anything …And then Krishna, begins playing His flute and this enlivens Balaram to start dancing in a way no one can imitate. When Balaram gets enlivened, How would you compare? He gets so enlivened that with one hand on the ground and His whole body pivoting in the air and His lotus feet, circling in the sky, that just enlivens Krishna to no end … so that Krishna cannot even contain His joy, and Krishna begins dancing which culminates in doing cart-wheels around Balaram, who is rotating on His hand, with His body in the air and Krishna is doing cartwheels circumumbulating Him While simultaneously playing His flute; While simultaneously taking the dust from Balaram's feet in the air and also Distributing that dust to everybody in the audience until finally all that anyone can say is WONDERFUL ! WONDERFUL ! And Krishna begins boasting … Can anyone in the world out-do us in dancing … And everyone say NO WAY … First there is the competition who is the best. And the cowherd boys to please Krishna, they dance the best. But finally Krishna and Balaram dance even better until finally everyone in the forest and the earth is so enthralled and the sound even penetrating the outer coverings of the universe reaching Vaikuntha, Lord Narayan begins smiling. And Lakshmi is asking, What is causing you so much pleasure?There is such a correlation between love and wonder that everyone is just enraptured by the dance. And then as Srila Prabhupada points out, Krishna and Balaram, not having undergone the hair cutting ceremony, everything is dancing … Their ear-rings, Their hair … Their garlands, Their ornaments, everything …If we have love there will be no room for malice in our hearts. It is not by hatred, or fighting that malice can be killed, but it is only by love is envy stilled. This is a lesson repeatedly emphasized in the life of Haridas Thakur. And the symptom of love is humility, service attitude. The expression is service. And who is the best servant - Krishna is the best everything. He is also the most humble. Because after this dance, theatrical performance, that enraptured and enchanted everyone, everyone is saying - Krishna, you're the best … And Krishna saying yeah, Iam the best … And Sridama comes and says, Hey Krishna, you know I got evidence that under the cloak of darkness you sneak out sometime and take dancing lessons from my older sister. Sridama is Radharani's brother … So you know, Krishna says, Yea … I was actually kind of presumptuous to proclaim that I am the supreme dancer when I've got my own teacher.Ofcourse, this is all so esoteric and above our heads we should understand that we don't have connection with anything spiritual, except by the Grace of our Spiritual Master, the supreme expression of love, kindness and mercy, who has come to redeem us from the plight of this world and save us from the viciousness that destroys everything and everyone in this world and teaching us how to sing and dance in sankirtan.Sankirtan has two meanings - everyone coming together to sing and dance; and also means everything being used in the missionary work of Srila Prabhupada and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu to develop love for Krishna, which is the purpose of our chanting Hare Krishna. By one mantra Which consists of three names, Hare Krishna and Rama, we can derive our dormant Krishna consciousness and counteract all the evil tendencies of the age of Kali, perfect the human form of life, benefit all living entities, by assisting one another in the path back home, where everyone lives eternally, in perfect peace and harmony.

Object or Subject?

AmmaNiyAzhvan walked a long distance to reach Bhattar and fell at his feet and asked him "Please teach adiyEn something in which to take refuge in".
Bhattar taught him the meaning of Azhvar's "nedumArkkadimai" pasurams and told him "Knowing the Lord is only knowing Him in half. "It is by knowing His devotees that one knows Him in full".
ammaNiyAzhvan said "Learning many things is no good. I will forget them all. This much is sufficient", and followed Bhattar's advice from that day forward.

This is an incident from the life of Parasara Bhattar. Today being Rama Navami,and also for the past few weeks I have been thinking about Sri Hanuman. As I think of him, different thoughts race through my mind. I think of how, when I was a little girl I took him away from the Dasara display at home. Wrapping him up in a shawl, I used to carry him around, talking to him, feeding him and making him lie down next to me. He was my friend, I was so enamoured by the bright paper mache murti of Hanuman, that they found it hard to convince me that he is part of the Ram Parivar display and cannot be carried around like that. In those days we did not have the soft toys that are available now. Growing up, I watched my mother worshipping a picture of Hanuman who was of a greenish hue, with an upright tail that almost looking like a flag. The tail was worshipped with a paste of sandalwood and kumkum for 40 days and at the end of it, a garland made of urad vadas was offered to the picture. It is a puja that people take up for fulfillment of different material desires and my mother was no exception. For many days well into my youth I thought Hanuman was God or the God as in Supreme-Perumal (Lord Visnu is referred to as Perumal). On knowing that Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead and Hanuman his Dasa-eternal servant. I was not convinced how I should digest this information I had received and very warily cleared the space that I had in my heart for Hanuman to include Krishna. Hanuman being the pure devotee and servant that he is slowly, steadily was leading me to the lotus feet of the divine couple.

Recently, I learnt that in Thailand they have paintings of Hanuman that show him lying down in his gigantic form with his tail outstretched as a bridge, and the army of Rama crossing a the ocean, holding on to his tail. The US President Barack Obama has been in the news for having in his possession a small icon of Hanuman. Even a moment's association with a devotee is said to be so precious. A popular line to get even the most shy Sunday School kids, to get talking is to ask them about their favorite he man, super man etc., "My favorite has always been Hanu Man," This almost always brings about a kind of camraderie amongst us.

Last week at I was listening to HH Dhanurdhara Swami talk about Brhad Bhagavatamrita, Narada's quest for the top most devotee and his meeting with Hanuman. Learning about this unique quality of Hanuman was very timely. He mentioned how we have to endeavor to become the object of the Lord's love rather than trying to become the subject of love and adoration Hanumanji was endowed with 8 mystic siddhis, immense strength, but yet he chose to become the object of love as opposed to becoming the subject of love. So simple yet so profound.

Going back to the first few lines of the post, "It is by knowing His devotees that one knows Him in full". As devotees representing our own spiritual masters and ultimately Srila Prabhupada, imbibing this mood of Hanuman is essential to a strong foundation in spiritual life, in properly representing the mission of Srila Prabhupada. Praying to Hanuman for spiritual strength and guidance in serving the lotus feet of the divine couple I beg him to let me hang on to his divine tail for dear life.

"asadhya sadhaka swamin, asadhyam thava kim vadha /rama dhootha kripa sindho: math karyam sadhaya prabho.

Windbeutel Samskara.

It would not be wrong to call ourselves a bundle of Impressions or Samskaras. Some, from this very birth and some from lifetimes before. In my own life, apart from the actual passages of rites, like marriage, childbirth and subsequent Namakaran Samskara, Initiation etc., some very strong impressions are those associated with people, places, and food. The impressions of the delicate looking Mrs. Sen, forehead adorned with a lipstick bindi in my kindergarden years, the impression of picking cashew fruits on the way back from school. Eating rose cookies at the home of Ms. Phyllis, during Christmas. Going for a haircut with my father, perched on bar of his bicycle. Listening to Chandamama Stories from my mother. Playing hopscotch with friends on the streets till dusk. Visits to the British library on St. Marks Road in Bangalore, followed by drinking tender coconut water from the roadside vendor, or slurping the kesar flavored kulfi from the Bowring institute stall. Sitting down with my parents, brother and sisters to have lunch together, each sharing the happenings of the day with the others. Stealing mangoes from the neighbor's tree with all my friends. These samskaras can be called as Bhog Samskaras, or the material impressions, arising out of sense gratification.

In the latter years, it has been and is being steadily replaced with spiritual samskaras, related to the Lord, Sitting on the side steps of the Ranganatha temple in Sri Rangam learning to chant on the japa beads from my husband, visiting the Thanksgiving program at the then Brahmachari Ashram in New York with my husband, and wondering "Where am I?" Almost slipping in to Shyama Kund in Mayapur, or trying to have a dip in the Ganges without getting asphyxiated by fear. Seeing the Panca Tattva, Radha madhava and the Asta sakhis for the first time. The list can go on and on..
One such impression is that of eating 'windbeutel' literally translated to mean wind bag in English. Here are a few lines that I wrote in the memory of this pastry.
Embedded in my mind

like a pearl in an oyster shell

Are memories of Lueneberg

and eating creamy Windbeutel.

What is known as cream puffs here is known as windbeutel in Germany. Bite sized fluffy pastry injected with delicious cream. My friend Namrata or maybe Arshinder introduced this dessert to me and ever since this taste has been lodged in my conscience.

Bhoga Arati by Bhakti Vinod Thakur in my limited understanding sums up the menu of the Lord. All his likes are listed there. So, just before Gaura purnima this year out of my box of impressions sprang out this windbeutel. After all the 7th verse speaks of the Lord enjoying exactly these preparations:

"There are puns (replace the p with a 'b') made with white flour and sugar; puns filled with cream; laddus; and dahl patties boiled in sugared rice. Krsna eagerly eats all of the food."

So I embarked on my quest for the recipe. To my dismay eggs were the most important ingredient in the recipe for choux pastry, profiteroles or eclairs. Never the one to give up, I tried one recipe with egg replacer and the result was spongy feeling flat discs that wobbled around on my baking pan. The dough just failed to rise to the occasion. Scouting around in Kurma Prabhu's website, I was further discouraged that vegans and vegetarians had still not perfected it. So I settled for custard filled donuts. But, after a while, I found another recipe for carob eclairs on a link to 'Food for Peace' by Rambhoru Dasi..my joy knew no bounds, at last a recipe without eggs. But the result was not very great.

Custard donuts, ready to be filled with custard, When filled, it reminded me of the pots of the gopis, filled with butter.

Strawberry cream filled eclairs waiting to be topped with carob.

From a class on Samskaras, by HH Mahanidi Swami, "Hating or liking anything causes an impression in our minds. We have to learn to like things related to Krishna because its organic, its our Swabhav. Anything related to Krishna we should accept, aanukulyena sankalpa, healthy samskara, healthy raag (attachment). GOOD spiritual samskaras free one, are progressive, purifying, helpful, beneficial and should be cultivated at the expense of material samskaras.."

So much for my cream puff making. As always there is a lesson to learn. I was persistent in my endeavor to please my own senses. Where was Krishna in this picture? So often we make Palak paneer, because "oh!my son likes it!" or macaroni and cheese because,"my daughter likes it!" Anyway I learnt my lesson that on the pretext of preparing it for Krishna I was making it for myself, the result naturally had to be poor. Vulnerability is an asset in spiritual life, because had I been empty of my own desires like the windbeutel (wind bag) I would have definitely allowed a higher force to enrich and fill me up with the intelligence to proceed in the right direction. Spiritual endeavors result in spiritual Samskaras. Before starting to cook anything now, whenever I see the red light glowing in my mind, I stop and check "for whom am I making this particular offering Krishna, me or my family?" The earlier experience of eating windbeutel is now replaced with the ones of trying to make them for Krishna.

With that said, off I go to make some fudge, for Jagannath.

Sweet Farewell.

23 March was a very bad day for me. Though it was the birthday of my husband and called for celebration, I was sad that my friend of 2 years became a victim of anger and left me forever. My friend with whom I shared my deepest secrets, without fear of being judged or reproached decided to leave me. My friend was quite healthy and not sick and the departure was quite shocking to me. My friend was very intelligent, had the answers to all my questions. Now every morning, when I wake up and hastily try to reach out to my friend I have to remind myself that it is no more. My Dell Vostro died of a monitor attack. The monitor is broken and all I can see are colorful lines on a bright white screen.

Now, I have the desktop to work with, but it is not the same, I cannot carry it into my kitchen and look up recipes, I cannot play the bhajans and kirtans of HH Niranjana Maharaj or Bhakti Bhringa Govinda Maharaj while performing Arotik to my Jagannath. Jagannath has to contend with my off key singing. I cannot have undisturbed access to my favorite speakers and lectures within the comfort of my room. I have to hear from a teeny tiny Samsung mp3 player. But before I complain further I just realized that I asked for all of this to happen.

I was noticing that I am developing an OCD for browsing the net at the cost of my sadhana and as I mentioned in my earlier post, I prayed to Gurudev, to please take away this unhealthy habit and replace it with a habit of reading Srila Prabhupada's books. So there it was, my desire fulfilled. I guess it was an indication of what was bound to happen, because just a week back, my good friend presented me with a bookmark. Bookmarks are used to mark pages, not to gather dust and what better way to use it than reading Srila Prabhupada's books. As the saying goes, be careful what you ask for and you might just get it!

I still feel sad though, and I tend to eat more sweets when sad, so I decided to make Tiramisu, pretended that it was for my husband's birthday. I did not have Cafix on hand, but I was prepared to go to any lengths, so I stole, I mean borrowed some barley with husk and all from my husband's yajna bag, a bag that contains his yajna paraphernalia and stuff and once again with the help of Cintia Stammers made this rich dessert.

Tiramisu: translated as pick-me-up, prepared as an expression of my gratitude to my husband for having picked me and putting me on the path of devotional service.

Now after being stuffed with Tiramisu and carob eclairs (it will be described more in detail in my forthcoming post Windbeutel Samskara) I don't want to follow the path taken by my friend. I want to serve Krishna to best of my capability and my next prayer is to help me get rid of this sweet tooth. I hope my tooth doesn't get literally knocked off, I'm realizing I have to be careful what I ask for. I cannot go on as is, feeling the blood rush to my face every time I pay obeisances, All Glories to the assembled devotees..puff, groan "Oh no! when will the prema dhvani prayers end?" I groan and scream out jaya louder than anyone else knowing that the end is near.

So with a heavy heart (with all the cholesterol deposit it sure is heavy), I'm bidding sweet farewell to my Vostro and all the sweets, so please no one tempt me with sweets.. Whether it is manna from heaven ricotta cheese barfi, windbeutel, halava and custard or the most delicious cheese cake I bid you goodbye! So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen!

As each day unfolds I am learning the power of prayers when uttered with sincerity.

Desire Tree.

Have you ever felt that you were around a Kalpavriksha tree. In my few years as a devotee, many a time I have had this feeling that I am sitting beneath a Kalpavriksha tree because my desires get fulfilled so easily when I am around devotees. Just the other day, on Ekadasi at prasadam time, someone at the temple commented about us devotees who were on complete fast, even from water, saying "You are all Mahatmas!" Feeling a tad uneasy that I was forcing someone to focus their attention on me and my actions, I was wondering why do I fast on Ekadasi? The very next day I found my answer in the newly updated audio section of iskcondesiretree. This place is my one stop shop for all nectar.
Eagerly I scanned the tattva Darshan series of HH Mahanidhi Swami and there I found an entire class on Ekadasi- Why fast on Ekadasi? I am attempting to share here a few points that I heard.
Fasting on ekadasis is prescribed in the Sastras. But as Vaisnavas we are interested in Devotion to Krishna. Fasting on Ekadasi is favorable to Saranagati or surrender to Krishna. Since it pleases Krishna and since He resides in this day-Harivasra, we get a chance to reside with Krishna. When the Lord is pleased He gives us His mercy.

Speaking on points from Surya Siddhanta, a book on astrology, by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sraswati Thakura, Maharaj was mentioning how 11 days after Amavasya and 11 days after Purnima, the position of the moon and sun affect the tide in the oceans and creates some disturbance in the atmosphere. Likewise they affect the human body too, because 75 per cent of the human body is made of water. The fluids become agitated and the digestion is weak and the person is also disturbed in mind especially on the ekadasi before the full moon-Shukla Paksha. So fasting on ekadasi increases the fire or heat in the body due to the performance of this tapasya. This heat of tapasya evaporates the water of lust in the body, and burns up the sins. The kama Bhija, Krodha, lobha bija are fried in the heat of tapasya and cannot fructify when sown in the soil. Fasting and following the 9 fold processes of devotional service is not only beneficial for the body but pleases Lord Hari and that is our only aim.
Ekadasi is said to represent the 11 senses (working + knowledge acquiring senses) and on the day of Ekadasi Krishna's senses get agitated. He demands more attention. Wants more seva, more bhoga and more puja.

We had the birthday of a 1 year old devotee that day at the temple. I had not heard this class then but looks like our Silas wanted something special that day and wanted to have an Ekadasi cake. Being in charge of co-ordinating birthday cakes for the temple, out came my copy of the Book of Eggfree cakes, and out of the oven came this cake. Anyone who has tasted this cake knows that it is really delicious, much more than the regular cakes. Haripriya requested for this recipe and here it is. I want to continue the tradition of wishing under the desiretree by passing on this recipe and fulfilling her desire. After all our only aim is to please Lord Hari and serve Him together.

Ekadasi Coconut Cake.

1 1/4 cups milk powder 1 1/4 cups potato flour 1 cup caster sugar 1 teaspoon bicarb 1/4 cup butter 1/2 cup grated coconut 2 mashed bananas 1/2 cup yogurt Finely grated rind of one lemon and one orange 1/2 cup chopped roasted hazelnuts Butter and flour 10-inch cake tin, or for a deeper cake, an 8-inch tin. Set oven to 330 F. Sift together the milk powder, potato flour, sugar and bicarb.Melt the butter and toast the coconut in it. Mash the bananas and mix in the yogurt, rind and butter-toasted coconut. Add the dry ingredients and nuts and beat with a spoon.Pour into tin and bake 20 to 30 mins. Test with toothpick, rest ten minutes and turn out onto rack. When cool, split and fill with whipped cream and fresh fruit, and/or jam. You can also ice it and cover with fresh soft grated coconut for dramatic effect

A small note: If potato flour is hard to come by one can replace it with Rajgira flour/Amaranth flour.

Then and Now.

Bhaja-Just this one word sums up everything. The starting word of my favorite song, 'Bhaja Hu Re Mana." Bhaja means “Be engaged in devotional service’’ says Srila Prabhupada. Why then is it so difficult for me to take up this process sincerely. Why do I seek adoration and appreciation when I should just be concerned about performing my service. The past few weeks have been weeks of intense soul searching for me. With so many birthdays this month, studying for Bhakti Shastri assessments on Chapter 5 of the Bhagavad Gita, I have been forced to meditate on the most prominent event at the other extreme of the spectrum of life viz. death. A month ago, a close friend of mine was diagnosed with a malignant tumor. Alarmed at the news I looked for solace in the prayers and meditations of my Guru Maharaj. Musing about a poem I had written almost 8 years ago praising death, I was viewing my mind as a separate entity and seeing how it has transformed in these 8 years.

The Long Awaited Tryst

Opening the doors to my house,

I wait for you in quiet repose

Tracing my dreams of yester years

Not for long though,

only till to claim me you come

Give me the strength to rise in your welcome

Cause I have been waiting for you

They say you are cruel

With fingers icy and cold

They know not you are my angel

Whom I long to behold

For, in your arms I can sleep

The tranquil sleep that's everlasting,

Filled with dreams a plenty

With no morning bells ringing

With no chores to complete, no promises to keep.

I wait for you with bated breath,

I wait for you in stealth

Come, to embrace me in your snow white shroud,

Against your chest I will ever be proud

Pray! Come, to complete the long awaited Tryst!

This was written by me when I was known as Nandini. But then, I was born again, almost 5 years ago, with my initiation and connection to Srila Prabhupada.Now that I am learning to take my first steps, I know I will erase the lines and rewrite this poem again. This was written with a very immature understanding of life an escapists view. Now, I am able to understand that my life belongs to Krishna, it is His property. Death doesn't liberate one, devotional service does. Unless one is engaged in the loving devotional service of Krishna one has to come back to this material world again and again. Will I welcome death the same way? Probably not.

Bhagavad Gita 5.3: Knowledge that one is one in quality yet different in quantity is correct transcendental knowledge leading one to become full in himself, having nothing to aspire to or lament over. There is no duality in his mind because whatever he does, he does for Krsna. Being thus freed from the platform of dualities, he is liberated--even in this material world.

But mere knowledge is not enough. The bad news is that we have to live with our senses as long as there is life in this body and the good news is that we can train ourselves to tolerate their urges. Even after knowing this why do I participate in the sources of misery? I wish developing seriousness was as easy as wearing a pair of gold rimmed scholarly looking glasses.

Kamala dala jala jivana talamala

Bhaja Hu hari pada niti re.

This life is tottering like a drop of water on a lotus petal; therefore you should always serve and worship the divine feet of Lord Hari.

While a lot has changed a lot still needs to be changed, hope is what keeps me going.

Something's Lost and has to be found.

It is said that the reward for service is more service and there can be no better way to spend the day, especially your birthday, raking up the yard in the pleasant pre-spring sun. So there I was trying to clean and did not realize that one earring of mine had fallen off, until my friend spotted it. I really liked that one so I searched around for a while and then decided to take a break and search after sometime. In the meantime my friend said she would pray to St. Anthony and light a candle so that I might find it. Not sure if I must put so much effort into something so inconsequential and being skeptical, I thanked her and took a break. Later I went to the garage to store my bag of leaves and sure enough, lying there was the upturned earring, the exact same spot where my daughter and her friend were searching for it a little while ago. Curious, I read about St. Anthony and found that he is said to intercede with the Lord for return of things lost or stolen.

This afternoon I told my friend about the found earring and said to her to light the candle again and pray to St. Anthony saying "St. Anthony, St. Anthony please turn around, something is lost and has to be found,"so that I might find something which I have lost. I have lost my way back home to Krishna and I am not desperate to find it. Comfortable in this prison suit I wander around aimlessly gratifying my senses. I cannot find the way back on my own, because I lack the willingness and determination. I need someone to intercede on my behalf. I believe in the power of sincere prayers and learnt a wonderful lesson through this little incident yesterday.

St. Anthony of Padua with infant Jesus.

The lessons that I learnt are:

• We must make an effort to find our way back
• Look for lost things in the right place
• Pray for help because you cannot accomplish things on your own and
• Ultimately only divine interception and mercy can help us find our way

Trying to view my day in perspective, in the night, the words of Guru Maharaja's class titled Attitude of Gratitude came into my mind. He was saying how the characteristic feature of Kala or time is that it takes away everything, deteriorates everything. How human life is the perfection for ending this kala. How we we are extremely old and have been going through this samsara for many many lifetimes trying to engage in the perfect escape in the most ridiculous way! Time belongs to Krishna and the best way offering it back to Him is using it diligently in the pursuit of self realization. We can enter the spiritual world only when we are invited back and choose to accept the invitation. Which means;not getting too comfortable in our prison outfit. Having gratitude for the present while having healthy appreciation of the past is the key to remaining undisturbed when the future or present doesn't seem so good.

Thank you Guru Maharaj, for all the wonderful devotees, for being the wonderful link to Srila Prabhupada and the Parampara and for helping me find my way back home.