Our own little battles.

While going about our own day to day activities from time to time one is faced with their own little battles of Kurukshetra, sometimes with other devotees, family members, and mostly the mind. Sometimes Mr. Jekyll takes over and at other times Mr. Hyde becomes very powerful, snuffing out the all the goodness with a sip of his very own magic potion. In this age of quarrel and hypocrisy, we are often faced with "catch 22" situations and conflicts. Our success lies in effectively dealing with conflicts. Relationships are intrinsic to the soul. One can live without a microwave, a bed or even a computer, comfortably, but everyone wants to relate to someone. Just looking around my own neighborhood, I always see single old men and women with just a pet dog to keep them company. Shopping around in the grocery stores I see again; old men and women all alone unable to even pick a can of peas and drop it into the shopping basket,that it requires so much effort. Absent mindedly picking up a can of olives, I wonder what my plight will be in the years to come. Will I be fortunate enough to live in the association of devotees that I take so much for granted?

Guru Maharaja's words on the 4 principles of community building come to my mind:

1. Treat everyone you encounter as if the success or failure of your spiritual life depends on the quality of your interactions with them.
2. Reflect on the person you love the most, and aspire to treat everyone with that same quality of love.
3. View all conflicts as your own fault first.
4. Realize that people in your present environment might very well be the people with whom you will live out your life, and who are likely to be with you at the time of death.

I put my hand into my jacket pocket and find a folded sheet of paper, notes that I jotted down from a seminar on Devotee Relationships by my God brother- Bhuta Bhavana Dasa, January 1, 2009. That it should surface when such thoughts are going through my mind were indicative that I should note it down someplace else. I am summarizing the contents here:

Relationships are intrinsic to the soul. Our quality of existence is intrinsically related to our relationships. All qualities that we develop are a result of association- good or bad. From the Srimad Bhagavatam, Canto 1 we see that "Actual association of devotees brings about a quick change in life for spiritual realization."

The first, fundamental principle of establishing and maintaining good relationships is knowledge. Often times devotees are afraid in their dealings with other devotees in stating the facts for fear of committing Vaisnava Aparadh.It is stated in Harinama Chintamani by Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur that we actually commit aparadhs by not dealing with a conflicting situation appropriately. In order to serve a devotee better it is not wrong to judge the devotee by his/her qualities and understand them. The 6 loving exchanges mentioned in the Upadeshamrita are important instructions. Krishna consciousness is so powerful that by following it through, with the blessings and empowerment we experience something far superior to our karma. We must therefore make a conscious attempt to include the 6 loving exchanges in our day to day activities, by being humble, with the single goal of pleasing Krishna. Building trust amongst devotees and non-devotees requires that one practice these 5 trust building measures viz: share relevant information, honor commitments,clarify expectations, admit mistakes and make amends. The Lord teaches different lessons through conflicts. Vaisnava Aparadh is the topmost offense and one must constantly engage in cultivating the positive while avoiding the negative. In order to achieve tolerance and to learn to discriminate the situation, one has to hear and read regularly. Addressing the situation, tolerating without envy and checking our motive for all actions, addresses the conflicting situation effectively.

Though it does seem like a long list of things to do, in reality there is just one point- Is my thought and consequent action going to please Krishna? In my own activities I felt that sincerely attempting to practise the the 6 loving exchanges has made a difference. Constantly living the philosophy is not easy when you are dragged into situations of conflict. This Friday, at the weekly Bhakti Vriksha gathering, we met a newcomer with a very unusual name- 'Bhagavad Gita.' Turns out that her father was so taken up with the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita that not only did he memorize all the verses of the Bhagavad Gita, but also ended up christening her with that name. A name that conjures up visions of a battlefield, powerful warriors engaged in a fierce battle. Powerful warriors; who are relatives and a constant reminder of our own battles of Kaliyuga. In our case, who wins the battle? you may ask. Ultimately the wolf that is fed is the one that wins the battle! For devotees it is very simple for it is the one on the side of Krishna who wins the battle and If Krishna is on your side it is only because He is pleased with your actions!