The tongue is a stage.

vāco vegaḿ manasaḥ krodha-vegaḿ
jihvā-vegam udaropastha-vegam
etān vegān yo viṣaheta dhīraḥ
sarvām apīmāḿ pṛthivīḿ sa śiṣyāt

A sober person who can tolerate the urge to speak, the mind's demands, the actions of anger and the urges of the tongue, belly and genitals is qualified to make disciples all over the world. (Nectar Of Instruction Verse-1)

Yesterday, when i working on a write-up for our local newsletter, i was contemplating on how the holy names should eventually dance on our tongue. I was reminded of that divine Radha Natabhara who enjoys dancing with the gopis the most but out of compassion also danced on the hoods of the evil Kaliya. Kaliya is said to represent brutality and treachery. I was comparing our tongues to the hoods of Kaliya who want to speak ill of others,lie, cheat,want to eat unoffered and sometimes abominable foodstuffs. It took a long time for Krishna to subdue Kaliya. In the fight that ensued it appeared that Krishna was dancing on the hoods of Kaliya. Similarly our senses put up a fight against Krishna and our tongues raise their vile hoods time and again. However, Krishna is so merciful, that He has manifested as His holy names and is willing to dance on our tongues if only we set the stage, by nourishing our tongue and give up being the masters, wanting to enjoy everything for ourselves. Will Krishna then not dance on our tongues?

When the Lord of the Universe came home.

Nilacala Nivasaya, nityaya paramatmane

Balabhadra Subhadrabhyam, Jagannathayathe Namah.

Deity worship is like an arranged marriage where once you start serving the person, you eventually fall in love with them. Though we worship Jagannatha at home when these deities who are at our temple every weekend decided to come home for a 3 week stay, there was great joy at home. The devotees who were caring for Them went on a holiday to India and wanted Them to be cared and pampered for in the interim. So, They decided to come home and I considered it our great fortune. I was hearing in a class by HH Mahanidhi Swami that attaining Sri Kshetra or Purushottam Kshetra is so rare that it is also called as Durlabh Kshetra or Krandhan Kshetra. Durlabh Kshetra because the mood of separation from the Lord/beloved is the highest emotion that one can experience and it is more profound than actually meeting the Lord. Krandhan Kshetra because its a Land of tears where the Lord as Jagannath, Vrajendranandan Krishna, cries for His devotees, the Gopis in Vrindavan longing to reunite with them on the banks of the Yamuna river. Similarly the devotees who are in separation from the Lord signified by Caitanya Mahaprabhu are also crying, longing to meet with the cowherd boy of Vrindavan who has stolen Their hearts making them distraught and sleepless.

I also realized while serving them, what it is like to be a personal servant of the Lord or the spiritual master.As they say pujari seva is like a double edged sword where while it requires utmost attention, one must not assume that the Lord or spiritual master is dependent on us. It requires sacrifice and complete submission and working in a schedule that is suitable to Them. Your time is Theirs. They invade your life sweetly and slowly that They become the center of activities and only a fool will not be willing to let Them take over.

Where is Krishna?

I see Krishna is the rising waves of the sea, in the buzzing bee, in the monsoon sky, in the grass so green. i can see Him in the name of the driving instructor, Gauranga! In the pink toes of the sleeping baby, in the wholesome glass of milk, in the bright yellow saree of the garland vendor. Krishna is in the cherries so ripe and juicy, in the golden butter that sizzles on the skillet and in the sweet smelling roses that abound in summer.

But;

Why don't i see Him in my 6 year old's tantrums, in the pile of snow that i curse and clear, in the hurt and anxiety caused by rude remarks. I can't see Him in the soiled diapers and the sharp shooting foot pain that i wake up to. Can't see Him in the muddy floors and the childish pranks of my little monster, or in a day gone all awry. Can't see him in the slithering snake or the stinky skunk either. Can't see Him in the sting of the disturbed wasp or even in the leaky faucet and the soggy rags.


Where is Krishna?

Krishna is in our hearts and just as the blind hone their other senses near to perfection, i have to work on the sense of hearing, the sense of smell and the sense of touch. Hearing the message of Krishna, the most important of all devotional services, requires practice and investment of a lifetime, but as so many of our acharyas and preceptors have proved, it can be perfected. There is hope!

From eww! to wow!

We must eat food, not so much for our body but for our mind. Food does more than nourish the body, it nourishes the mind. I just understood after hearing the glories of maha maha prasadam, by HH Mahanidhi Swami, that even the act of accepting prasadam and honoring it can mean surrendering to Krishna. How is that possible one might ask? When one accepts Krishna Prasadam, he/she is acceptng the ucchistha,or the remnants of Sri Krishna. Even what is in the cooking pot becomes the remnants. The act of accepting someone's ucchistha is unthinkable for someone who comes from an orthodox brahman upbringing. Imagine, eating from a half eaten plate of prasadam, where the gulab jamun has landed into the kadhi and the papad is a soggy mass. Most mothers would identify with this, as they often end up having maha maha prasadam or simply, ucchistha of their children. Imagine doing the same from someone else's plate, someone whom you don't know. We would scrunch up our noses and walk away. I remember the first time i was offered ucchistha of my Guru Maharaj, it took me a long time before i could pop the fragment of pizza crust into my mouth. Thats why it takes humility and surrender to accept the remants of prasadam. Since, our whole Gaudiya Vaisnava Philosophy emphasizes the role of humilty and not identifying with the body, honoring ucchistha is a foremost lesson in cultivating humilty. Except for the having the ucchistha of father, brother or spiritual master, a brahman is prohibited from giving his remnants to others, or eating another's remnants. The subtle meaning of ucchista is to be submissive to your ishta devata. When one eats the ucchistha of someone then he/she takes on the mood of the person. Food is a medium through which many things get transferred and the type of food we eat makes an impact on our mind. So, eating the remnants of a saintly person turns our mind to follow theirs. On the contrary, if one eats abominable food, cooked by a chef in a restaurant, we are having the ucchistha of the cook and our consciousness will take on that of the cook. The sastras say that when a brahmana eats the remnants of an unknown person, he assumes a dog's body in the subsequent life. Eating food in a restaurant makes the mind uncontrolled. Since mind is the cause for bondage as well as liberation, we can make our choice. Eating foodstuffs that are offered to Krishna, one gives up his independence of wanting to indulge and enjoy separately from Krishna and therefore the act is liberating. Thus, when one honors the prasadam in a mood of seva, he is giving up his independence by simply giving up independence in eating.

Though i knew that Prasadam is sanctified food, remnants of the Lord, i am completely in awe of the fact that we are surrendering to Krishna by just honoring prasadam. It is the ucchistha of the Lord and how fortunate are we that we are able to have access to it every single day. All we need to do is honor it with the right consciousness. What a revelation this class has been for me. Maha Prasadam ki Jaya!

No Shade of Green

Non Envious and friend to all. How does one become that? I was trying to comprehend this very difficult truth. The truth became less complex as i was listening to a class in honor of Jayananda Prabhu's disappearance day. As HH Kadamba Kanana Maharaj discussed the qualities of Jayananda Prabhu, these were some of the things that stood out in my mind.

He was a friend to everyone, engaging everyone in the service of Lord Jagannatha in a very genuinely loving way. He was a powerful preacher and was even more adept at setting examples by his loving and humble behavior. He loved stealing and feeding devotees Mahaprasadam of the Lord at any time of the day or night. He was fully surrenderd to Srila Prabhupada, was fearless and hard working. He dealt with praise in a very expert manner. He highly disliked, gossip and criticism of other devotees. But above all these he was a keen chanter of the holy names and considered it the crux of all other Krishna conscious activities. He could sit for hours together and chant the holy names with great relish. He felt that chanting was only thing constant in the life of a devotee. At first it seemed like a long list of things to do to be a friend to everyone, but no, in fact there is only one trick and the hardest one to achieve and become non envious.

The root of all causes is chanting the holy names of the Lord in a humble state of mind. Then, when the heart is cleared of all contaminants one can become advesta sarva-bhutanam, a friend of all living creatures. He was being compared to Srila Haridas Thakura and i felt so fortunate that we were exposed by way of books and talks to such a wonderful icon of humility in the present day. Meditating on the qualities of saintly persons is said to imbue us with some of their qualities as well. So, i place my heartfelt prayers at the lotus feet of this modern day saint.All Glories to Sri Jayananda Thakura.

Merciful Sidelong Glance

Yersterday was Ekadasi, the day of Lord Hari. I decided to go Nirjal, after hearing from a class by Mahanidhi Maharaj, that one can follow the fast and then give away the merits to someone who is ailing or troubled. So, though i myself am an impoverished needy soul, yearning for that sidelong glance of mercy, i prayed that the merits of my fasting be passed on to two souls who are in need of a boost in their spiritual life. Talking about mercy and coincidences, how often i have heard that there are no coincidences in Krishna consciousness. Yesterday i understood that it is so true.Because of this sankalpa that i made of passing the merits to others in need in the morning, while i was hearing another class by HH Mahanidhi Swami again, only this time in the night, i chanced (or was it planned) on his glorification of the Radha Kripa Kataksha Stuti. He was repeatedly mentioning the Phala Sruti or the benefits of reciting Radha Sahasranama and the the Radha Kripa Kataksha stava Raja prayer on certain days. One of those happened to be ekadasi. I realized that even a faulty little endeavor from a person so full of ego goes a long way. Krishna does take ten steps towards you and here was Guru revealing more than one way to get benedictions for austerities.In pursuit of that bhakti that the self realized hanker after, here is the Phala Sruti:
The aspirant who recites this hymn on the full-moon day, on the eighth day of the waxing moon, and on the tenth, eleventh and thirteenth days of the waxing and waning moons, achieves the fruition of his desires and, by the grace of Sri Radhika´s compassionate sidelong glance, bhakti characterized by prema sprouts in his heart.
Do you think i wasted any time then, in reciting this stuti?
Here it is in full http://saranagati.net/index.php?S=3&Article=70

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Hare Krishna,
Everyday we hear so many things but how much do we retain from it. Writing it down is said to make a longer, lasting impression on our minds. Purity in hearing can be attributed to purity in thoughts and eventually purity in actions. Writing down what we hear makes us retrieve the information when the circumstance demands an appropriate action. it makes us introspect and act in a way pleasing to Guru and Kishna. This is my attempt to have a place where i can share my thoughts and realizations of impressions that words of great souls have made on my mind. In this journey i envision growing as a more wholesome person where my thoughts will always match my actions. I pray to Srimati Radharani and the Guru Parampara to please bless me in this endeavor.