Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Krpa bindu Diya

Dear Srila Prabhupada
Please Accept My Humble Obeisances.
Today on your appearance day I feel most fortunate to be connected to the movement of Sri Caitanya mahaprabhu through the threads of your causeless mercy. Till 2008 you were the spiritual master of my spiritual master and I could not imagine that I could have a personal connection to you. At a retreat by HH Bhakti Charu Swami, we were asked to talk about your influence on our lives. For the first time I gave a thought to how you have so profoundly impacted my life. I realized that just as in the Krishna Land game a person can go to Krishna directly but ends up taking a longer route than reaching you first. But from where you are we can literally jump to the lotus feet of Krishna. It's just so much more easier. As I watch and hear the memories shared by your disciples I am understanding the different flavors of your nature and your expertise and finesse in everything that you said and did. At times I am shocked that I can even be in a movement so wonderful as this because after hearing the realizations of all your disciples I am really understanding my very own mediocre position. But if you so desire Srila Prabhupad, you can make the long route shorter and make me jump to Krishna's lotus feet. As I try to incorporate the standards given by you with respect to so many facets of Krishna consciousness, I feel ashamed of my insincerity and lackadaisical attitude. I try to imagine that you are present in the same room and are observing my behavior. That helps!I immediately pull myself up and try to please you. Srila Prabhupada, you displayed great tolerance and explained that Nitai's mercy has no limit. Can I then, harbor the slightest hope that you will one day accept me as a servant of the servant? On your divine appearance day I have no words to express the magnitude of transformation that has occurred in my life by your grace. I am amazed to think that you taught us the right way to eat, drink, talk, dress, though we apparently belonged to the civilized times. In training us to reach for the highest goal you have made the seemingly impossible possible, made human beings out of animals and continue to do so through your books. I beg you that I may be able to take complete shelter of you and your many servants' lotus feet and cultivate the same greed to know Krishna. I thank you for being a part of my life and will try to work hard that you will want to see me some day.
Your servant's servant.
Nitya Navina dasi.